True Love?

Dear Dr Heartache.....I Need Help....well it finally happened I met the man of my dreams.
Handsome and kind and intelligent.
Just what I want.

I know he loves me desperately and madly yet he hasn't proposed. Does he think I am just another date?
I repeat....Does he think I am just another date?
I hope not. Do I think I am just another date? I think not.
He has no idea how highly I value myself.

I want marriage or nothing!

I'm thinking of giving him an ultimatum to either marry me or go away forever.
Do you think if I tell him to either make a commitment or go away forever...he will make the commitment or go away forever?

I understand some women are now asking men to marry them. They do the proposing. Dr Heartache that is just not me.

I would never ever in a million years ask a man to marry me.
I think not!
I think it is beneath me.

I want him to ask me to marry him or go away forever.

I believe in love and marriage and none of this sleeping around and living together stuff. I find it disgusting and beneath me.

What is the answer here?

Impatient in Nevada

Dear Impatient in Nevada,

I heard that too that some girls are asking men to marry them.
Not my idea of the way it should go.
But the world is changing so drastically it is almost to the point where
anything goes.
Very sad I think.
But to give him an ultimatum might be the end of the road..
I think he knows about love and marriage and I'm sure he is not waiting for you to ask him.
But to give him an ultimatum does not go with love I don't think.
If he loves you he would want to marry you. However some never marry though they say they love each other.
My advice is do not do this.
He knows the score so let it go and if what transpires is
you without a marriage proposal then go away forever.
In a way going away is an ultimatum for him.
Some girls have given ultimatums and were left alone and others did get him to marry.
But here is the thing, why be with a man who you wonder what he is thinking half the time about you?
If he loves you there is a oneness there and if no oneness something is amiss.
Why stay with him if you see no future of hearth and home and family?
Go away forever!
That is what I would do in your situation.

My Darling Has A Calling!

Dear Dr Heartache.....I Need Help....I'm near death!

Firstly let me make it clear that I am drop dead gorgeous!
Beautiful!
Gorgeous describes me better!
This fact is important as I tell the problem that is slowly draining life from me.

Because I am beautiful beyond belief men are afraid to approach me. It has always been a severe problem for me.
Beauty is a blessing but it also seems to be a curse.
Men love me and women hate me.
I look good in anything I wear and I only wear clothes that are bought at exclusive stores.
I'm worth it!
I have a eye for fashion so I always know exactly what looks fabulous on me.
When I say drop dead gorgeous I mean the entire package is gorgeous!
God just blessed me with natural beauty which makes it so much fun to buy clothes.
It is a curse to be so beautiful and perfect.
So....

If I go to a party with friends men look at me then stare awhile then walk away with their head drooping.
I thought I would never meet my dream man because of my exquisite beauty that seems to chase men away instead of asking me to marry them.
I did get a few proposals but I wasn't interested because they were too poor.

But one night I went to a party with a friend and saw the most handsome man I have ever seen. Little did I know he had seen me walk in and asked the host about me.

He said I was all his dreams come true.
I know he is my only one forever.
We dated then for six months straight without letting up. We fell so madly in love it could only be described in a storybook of love and romance that ends well.
He asked me to marry him and we set the date.

Then he said a strange thing to me and this is why I write.

He wants to move to Mexico and take care of the poor and destitute.
He said this is his calling.
Huh? Calling? I thought he loved me!
I don't have any interest in any "calling" he has since I have no idea what it would be like to do anything for anyone except for myself.

Is his love real or is he just looking for someone to cook for him and wash his clothes while he goes out to walk the streets looking for some poor person to help?

Dr Heartache I am shocked that he wants to do these things and not take me shopping and traveling all over the world and having eyes and arms only for me.

Why can't he just be happy giving to the panhandlers that ask for money outside Wal Mart?

Do you think he might choose his calling over me?
I thought beauty would work on him.. it always worked before.
I was always able to depend on it.
Now what?
I'm afraid he will choose his calling over me.
He said he must do this.
But..I don't want to go help poor people!

Devastated in Santa Barbara, California

Dear Devastated in Santa Barbara, California
Hmmm...wonder why he didn't tell you this first..BUT
Don't marry him you will be doing him a large favor
and all the poor destitute people in Mexico!
I hope he finds a woman who has a calling also.
Yawn....
Hope this helped..

Enough is Enough!

Dear Dr Heartache.....I Need Help....Will it ever end? My best friend is Black.

She and I have tons of fun together but here is the problem. We cannot have a conversation ever until she brings up race. It is always about race.

She says that Blacks are mistreated in the very country they helped build. I don't know anything about that.

She goes on and on that her grand-daddy lived all his life with racism yet he did his best to raise his family and send them all to college.
All of them are PhD's.

She speaks of race every time we do lunch or attend a friend's party. My boyfriend said he is tired of her complaining then told her if she hated it so much to leave the country for good! He told her to go back to Africa then.
She became very indignant and accused him of being...yes you guessed it...a racist.
He said he is done with this nonsense.He even made it clear that if I continue to be her friend he will have no choice but to break off our relationship.


My friend said that Blacks should be treated better than they are because of the slave trade and the old plantations where they did all the work while the lazy ignorant Whites sat around and got fat.

It is always about race! I told her on television the Blacks are on every channel (I have cable with hundreds of channels) They are on almost every commercial. If not the main character they are somewhere in the background smiling and laughing with Whites.

Or In the kitchen cooking with them. Laughing! Having picnics together laughing and eating.

I see Blacks running laughing across the beach with Whites on commercials. They win academy awards now. They head universities. They have sitcoms and talk shows and make movies playing the heroes and leading men and women. They are doctors and lawyers and writers and on and on it goes.

They now occupy the Oval Office. They are everywhere and still the complaining goes on and on about race. One congresswoman said that hurricanes should be be given African American names so as to be fair.

Names such as Hurricane Jamal and Hurricane Ioesha.

She put her hands to her ears to shut me out, but since we have been friends since high school I continued... Enough of this race talk by Blacks I told her.

The fact of the matter is we all look different and think different and act differently. Why not recognize that and work on that instead of the constant complaining about race? I told her that others have rights also.

Enough is enough!

So Dr Heartache do you think it is possible that she and I can remain friends? I don't! I am sick of hearing about race and racism and Blacks and slavery and plantations and evil Whites.
What should I do?

Fed Up In Georgia!

Dear Fed Up In Georgia,
If I was you I would break up my friendship with her to keep the boyfriend. It sounds like he gave you an ultimatum....quit talking to her or lose him.
Choose him!
Definitely choose him!
If she wants to continue on the path she is on what can you do?
Nothing.
Let her go her way and be done with it.
Good luck!