Another Crazy Email!

Dear Dr Heartache.....I Need Help....I received this absurd and strange email. What shall I do?

You're invited to:		I NEED YOUR URGENT REPLY.
By your host:		Mr Umar Dialo
Date:		Monday December 22, 2008
Time:		5:00 pm - 6:00 pm (GMT +00:00)
Street:		Dear friend, I know this message will come to you as a surprise. I am Mr. Umar Dialo, the director in charge of auditing section of (BOA) bank here in Burkina Faso . I need your urgent assistance in transferring the sum of USD $9.8 million dollars into your account. This money has been dormant for years in our bank without claim. I want the bank to release the money to you as the nearest person to our deceased customer, Mr. Emmanuel Etukudo. Upon your reply I will give you details on how the transaction will be executed. Love and kisses and.. Best regards.+226 0892987-9899-345-978 (number changed to protect the innocent)
Will you attend?

Annoyed in Santa Cruz, California


Dear Annoyed in Santa Cruz, California, Can you imagine the nerve of some people? Emailing complete strangers and asking them to partake in a money making scheme is nothing but one unscrupulous person trying to find another unscrupulous person just so he can steal your money. There are no millions of dollars lying in a bank somewhere just waiting for you to claim it. Delete these scams immediately and remember you cannot cheat an honest person.
Mr Umar Dialo needs shock treatments and heavy medication immediately. Can't you see he makes up a fictitious name and asks you believe it is a real name. It may be a real name, but we can be sure it isn't his real name.

Dear Dr Heartache I am Beyond Desperate! HELP ME!

Dear Dr Heartache.....
I Need Help....Immediately!
Enclosed are pictures of me and my latest torrid love interest Jose de la Jose Enrique de Sol.
We met at a thrift store where I was looking for antique treasures as I usually do on Saturdays.
I saw this man lying on the floor pale as a ghost; he seemed to be unconscious.
I hurried over as did other customers to help him.
When we managed to revive him, it turned out he passed out when he caught a glimpse of my beauty as I was browsing through the glassware looking for 17th century pieces.
He said in Spanish that my beauty overwhelmed him to the point where he lost consciousness. Naturally I can understand that.
It is true Dr Heartache that I am totally gorgeous beyond belief. I have flaming bright pink hair with a perfect figure.
Anyway I am so beautiful men have told me they are amazed at such perfection to be found in one woman.
The day Jose and I met I was dressed in an adorable skirt and top I found online at an exclusive designer shop.
But back to the issue at hand.....
Jose cannot speak a word of English...ho hum and yawn....just my luck!
but one of the girls who works in the store happened to be bi-lingual.
She dashed over to interpret his wild speech which proceeded out of his mouth a mile a minute...
as he lay there pointing at me..He said his corazon was pounding madly within him.
She went on interpreting and said he begged for me to marry him as soon as we could get the marriage license.
He claims his love is real and cannot be denied.
Needless to say Dr Heartache I was flabbergasted to receive another marriage proposal.
This is my fifth one just this month.
I must confess that Jose is so handsome and dashing he reminds me of a Mexican movie star riding on a prancing horse.
However he is not a legal citizen of this country. Do you think he may be asking for my hand in marriage simply so he can automatically become a citizen using my American status to gain this?
I admit he is tempting to look at, but marriage is a big step and I am not sure I want to marry anyone from another country.
Bewildered in San Diego....

Dear Confused in San Diego...
Let me be brutally honest with you.
Do you love him? If you do wait until you know him which would take a year or so.
If you don't love him forget it now.
Jose needs to either return to his native land
and NOT come back..
or become a citizen immediately.
The nerve of some people!

What Shall I Do Dr Heartache?

Dear Dr Heartache.....I Need Help.... I know...I know...you are probably wore out from reading so many problems everyday. But this problem I'm facing now is beyond description. Yes dear Dr heartache, it is the same old story of love and loss. Of love and heartbreak. I can't understand how he could just go away. I loved Pips with all my strength and breath. I adored him. I fainted whenever he came into sight. Yes it was that great a love I had for him. How? How could he go away without regret? One day he asked me to marry him and the next day he leaves me. Yes he left me for another woman who happened to cut his hair that day. See Dr Heartache, Pips always gets his hair cut at at certain place at the mall and this one day there happened to be a new girl there trimming men's hair. He said it was beyond their control. Yes Dr Heartache just like that he told me that it was beyond their control. Needless to say I am beyond repair. My mind is gone. My heart is so broken it cannot ever ever be mended again. I cry myself to sleep every night. I wake up with swollen eyes and matted hair after it has been soaked in my oceans of tears.
I had to buy a plastic cover for my mattress from the gallons of tears.Yes and for my pillows also.
I have lost weight.(I didn't need to.) I have become a walking zombie. I am in a daze from pain and sorrow. What can I do to possibly get on with my life without him? Please help me Dr Heartache, please think of something to help me.
PS I know I look great but don't let that fool you. I am gone.

Lost and destroyed in Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Dear Lost and Destroyed in Santa Fe, New Mexico,
Pips? Okay...we must go with that. (I hope that isn't his real name)
Ask yourself this.....`who does he think he is?` and then ask yourself this...`How dare he leave wonderful me for that barber girl!`
Next do something special just for you. You know like buy yourself a new car.
Then stand in front of the mirror in your bedroom and say as you look at your reflection.."Is he nuts?`with `Yes that must be it!` `It can't be me!`
The truth is that the problem is ceratinly not you. It is Pips.
Now face the fact that it was beyond their control because the both of them are a couple of wackos. They deserve each other and you are actually blessed to be rid of such a dufus.
God did you a favor. Pips is a piece of work.
I know I know you are hurting but remember to look at the bright side.
She has him and not you and who knows who he will leave her for...
perhaps the girl who takes his pizza order.
Please value yourself and quit wasting tears on this roving romeo and get on with your life.
BTW, if he tries to get you back, be wise and learn that if he did it once what is to prevent him from leaving you again?
Hope this helped...