Scam Emails!

It is sad to know that there are people out there who actually believe this nonsense!

Dear person of low IQ:


I HAVE REGISTERED YOUR PACKAGE WITH THE FEDEX DELIVERY COMPANY

Good day!!!

I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your Confirm able
Bank Draft of $850,000 United States Dollars, but I did not hear from
you since for a couple of weeks now. Then I went to the bank to
confirm if the draft has expired or getting near to expire and
Dr.Wilson the Director Bank of Africa told me that before the draft
will get to your hand that it will expire. So I told him to cash the
$850,000USD UNITED STATES DOLLARS to cash payment to avoid losing this
funds under expiration as I will be out of the country for a 3 Months
Course and I will not come back till ending of May 2010.

What you have to do now is to contact FEDEX COURIER SERVICES as soon
as possible to know when they will deliver your Consignment to you
because of the expiring date. For your information, I have paid for
the delivering Charge, Insurance premium.

The only money you will send to the FEDEX COURIER SERVICES to deliver
your Consignment direct to your postal Address in your country is
($65.00 US) sixty five United States Dollars only being
Security Keeping Fee of the Courier Company so far. Again, dont be
deceived by any body to pay any other money except $65.00 US Dollars.
I would have paid that but they said no because they dont know when
you will contact them and in case of dumurrage.

You have to contact FEDEX COURIER SERVICES now for the delivery of
your Draft with this information bellow;

Directors Name: Mr.Jerry boutt
Companys Name:FEDEX COURIER SERVICES
Email Address:jerry_fedex2009@yahoo.com.hk
Tel/FAX: +234-7059604367
Email Address:jerry_fedex2009@yahoo.com.hk

Finally, make sure that you reconfirm your Postal address and Direct
telephone number to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery
and ask them to give you the tracking number to enable you track your
package over there and know when it will get to your address.

Let me repeat again, try to contact them as soon as you receive this
mail to avoid any further delay and remember to pay them their
Security Keeping fee of $65.00 US Dollars for their immediate action.
Note this. The FEDEX COURIER SERVICES dont know the contents of the
Box. I registered it as a BOX of Africa cloths.

They did not know the contents was money. this is to avoid them
delaying with the BOX. Dont let them know that box contents money ok.
I am waiting for your urgent response.

Yours Faithfully, HON.SCOTT AMAH

Unique Shoe Problem

Dear Dr Heartache........I faithfully read your blogs. I'm simply amazed at your profound and wonderful advice to all the needy people who write to you asking for advice concerning their love life. Or any problem they may be facing. Like the cheating husband who ran off with a geisha girl.

I loved your advice to his deserted abandoned broken hearted wife, which was to get over it already. What wisdom!

But in all the problems I've read there is not one time I have seen my problem addressed.

Here it is: My husband is the president of a large company that manufactures women's high heel shoes.
I once toured one of his plants and was impressed with how women's high heeled shoes are made.

Now when I toured this one day I was standing near the conveyor belt watching the shoes go down the line. Heels were put on after the sole. Before that comes the glue and after the felt.

Now what happened was this. I noticed a huge fly.....you know those flies that are big and ugly and purple and nasty looking? He buzzed over the belt then suddenly nose-dived down onto a beautiful purple shoe that was moving down the line.

Dr Heartache, the fly landed on the glue which was waiting for the felt. After which would come the sole. After the sole the heel. The shoe is then cleaned and ready to be placed in boxes.

Needless to say the fly was unable to fly after that. He was stuck. Of course my only concern was for the lovely purple stiletto. That was a huge fly, the biggest fly I have ever seen!

One of the girls working on the belt when seeing the fly, stuck to the glue, flapping his wings, where went the sole, simply shrugged her shoulders and slapped the felt right over that big ugly purple and green stuck horse fly.

She then said something to the girl working next to her and they both laughed.

She even laughed when she pressed it down to make it stick.

Now the beautiful purple stiletto was ready for the heel. Or was it? I dashed around the corner to get to where the girl was at to tell her to remove the fly shoe. I would have yelled but didn't want to make a scene. The dead horsefly was now part of the shoe.

I told her where is the shoe with the fly? She looked at me like I was nuts and said "The what?
I answered her, "The shoe that had the fly which shoe is it?"

She said, "I have no idea what you're talking about!" and kept working. She knew alright but denied she left the fly there under the sole.I didn't fire her since who knows her life. I'm sure she needs the job plus I need workers!

I frantically looked down the belt and saw dozens of purple stilettos moving down the line. There was no way I could ever know which one held the dead horsefly.
Here is the problem Dr Heartache. Should I feel guilty about this? Should I have stopped all sales for now of purple stilettos?

I feel that I have failed my customers for allowing this. Out there somewhere is a woman wearing a shoe with a dead fly under its sole.

I even get upset now if I see a purple stiletto because I immediately see that ugly horsefly. Was the customer who bought that shoe cheated?

I see this as a real problem. Of course it is too late now all the shoes went to stores across the nation.

I picture this model walking down a runway and is walking on a dead fly. Or a young girl going to the prom with her boyfriend with a dead fly in her shoe. Or a bridesmaid standing at the altar watching the bride come down the aisle to her groom and her standing on a dead horsefly.

Not only that how many time has this happened and who knows what else landed on the glue before the felt.
Who knows what people are walking on, what is lurking beneath their feet hidden under the sole of their shoes.
Guilty in Maine

Dear Guilty in Maine,
Hmmm... I just yesterday bought a new pair of stiletto heels.
Thank God they're not purple.
What is done is done! But the right thing that should have been done is the shoe thrown out immediately. The factory worker saw no problem, or else did not care. I would say she did not care.
There is nothing you can do about it now. Forget it! But instruct your workers to toss out any shoes that have insects or anything distasteful on the glue.
They might do it or they might not. When you really look at this it is the factory workers who decide what goes down the line in the final decision since they are the ones who make the shoes.
Treat them nice and increase their wages immediately
or they might allow worse things to get on your shoes!
Hope this helped....