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Dear Dr Heartache.....I Need Help....
Today when Obama was sworn in as our (sigh) president, I ran to the bathroom feeling nauseous. I held onto the sink as I stared at myself in the mirror.
Even though I am totally and unbelievably gorgeous beyond description, I looked pale and stressed.
Yes Dr Heartache, I broke out in hives after Obama was sworn in.It was horrible beyond words..like a nightmare.
He said he swore to be president and this is when I gagged and almost fainted.
The hives are all over my body.
My hair is falling out.
My stunning beauty is fading fast. All because of having a liberal and Marxist president.
Obama's devotees who happen to be many of my friends; yes those who without thinking gulped down the kool-aid said I need to see a shrink.
They said it is not normal that I don't adore Obama as do all the Obama kool-aid gang.
Imagine that! I am the one who is wrong! I am the loser since I refused to drink the kool-aid.I think they have it backwards...hello?
Actually Dr heartache, personally I believe that everyone who voted for Obama needs to be locked up or at least treated with some type of anti-delusional medicine.
Obviously the Obama gang is hallucinating when they think he is going to bring change with his ever present jingle..."YES we can!"
I am quite bored with hearing it. Tired also of hearing OBAMA constantly.
I watch one channel, there is Obama smiling and waving.
I flip the channel only to find Obama smiling and waving on that channel.
I flip and flip and there he is smiling and waving.
Michelle also is smiling and waving.
It is maddening!
Then I hear chanting from all the kool-aid gulpers...OBAMA...OBAMA....OBAMA....OBAMA....it is a loud dull chant like they were programmed so I again flip the channel....and there is Oprah jumping up and down screaming OBAMA.....OBAMA.................. it is maddening!
Dr Heartache, please help me with this ongoing problem of seeing Obama's face everywhere I turn.
"Yes we can!" is not true!
No he can't! is what is happening.
I am now on strong antihistamines for the hives.
The doctor recommends a long vacation far away from Obama.
Advise me what to do. I am going stark raving mad!
Had it in New Jersey
Dear Had It In New Jersey,
As utterly disheartening as it is, Obama IS the kool-aid gang president.
Sigh.........................oh dear.......sigh....my fits of disappointment are almost unbearable.
But remember when you wrote to me when Bush was selected in 2000, then again in 2004?
Remember how you were so angry and depressed, you asked the doctor to sedate you for three days?
But when he saw how upset you were with Bush being president, he gave you a tiny portable IV and you were sedated for quite some time until you were able to bear seeing Bush's face?
Well now you must do it again...this is what you must do....immediately.
Take a four year vacation and go explore the 2 million square miles of jungle in the dark continent of Africa just to get your mind off you know who ( I hate to remind you)
Look for anacondas and monkeys and stuff.
If you see an anaconda leave it in Africa.
Don't bring it here...or any monkeys or wild boars, rhinos and lions or any form of wild life seen on television.
Live in a hut and learn Swahili.
See you in four to eight years...
Hope this helped.....
Dear Dr Heartache
I have some great news for you!
.....I MOVED To the South Seas...
Yes Tahiti!
God helped me!
My dear Dr Heartache, it is me....
the one who wrote asking for help to endure Obama's presidency.
I was sinking in despair with Obama as president.
When he was sworn in I screamed and fainted... I was so upset.
BUT...I NOW live in another part of the planet.
And....I have since colored my hair and became more gorgeous than before.
I cannot believe how beautiful I look now after I recovered from all my disappointment.
I am smiling again!
I bought a whole new wardrobe.
Beautiful sparkling new jewelry.
Twenty pairs of shoes.
Yesterday I went sailing with my new friend
Kainoa and laughed and laughed.
He has never even heard of Obama.
Talk about getting off to a great start!
Why?
Obama is not my president as long as I am here in Tahiti.
Yes!
I am far......far.....far....far.....far....away from the very sight of Obama.
Yes!
How am I able to endure Obama's election and inauguration and presidency?
I now live in wonderful Tahiti where the soft breezes blow while the hot sun beats down on every living thing.
Tomorrow I am off to Bora Bora with Kainoa for lunch.
We will explore the lagoon there.
Then it is off the the Marquesas (the mysterious isles) for adventure and more fun.
Kainoa is such a gentleman and cares nothing about politics.
Yes!... as soon as I arrived on a late flight I immediately forgot about Obama.
I met Kainoa the next day as I walked along the sand by the sea.
I will be gone for eight years if necessary.
Thank you Dr Heartache for your help in finding a means to cope with the distressing Obama presidency.
Recovered in Tahiti from severe Obamanitis.
Dear recovered in Tahiti,
You made my day!
Congratulations!
and have fun!
PS...I'm moving to the Antarctic.
Dear Dr Heartache.....I Need Help....
I know I don't look miserable.
I know I look great in this photo, but this pic was taken long before I even heard of Barack Obama America's nightmare.
That was back when I still smiled.
But I am so... so.... disappointed with Obama as president it saddens me deeply.
I am so unhappy and blue.
I am sore distressed. Dr Heartache, there are not enough adjectives in the world to describe the disheartening condition of my miserable life since Obama became (gasp!) president.
His "yes we can" is also extremely depressing. It is so cliche like `the little engine that could...`and he cannot help us.
Dr Heartache, Obama as president will prove to be one of the world's big mistakes. Of course the world's mistakes cannot be numbered I know, but Obama is simply not the cup of tea America needs.
Please help me with your wise and tried and proven right advice.
Shall I move to Chile? Alaska? another planet?
I am beside myself with disappointment with Obama as president.
Please advise me soon as I am near despair and almost bereft of life.
Horribly disappointed in Obama as president.
Dear Horribly Disappointed in Obama as president...
Try to be strong. I understand your feeling.
Remember behind every dark cloud is a ray of sunshine.
After winter comes spring
and the flowers will bloom again.
Look for the rainbow after this rainy day.
Find a new hobby...oh..... you know like.... go to
You Tube more often and watch encouraging videos
(I love Dave Hunt religious videos)
Take up painting and bird watching.
Collect coins and ants.
Climb the Alps.
Walk from Denver to Miami.
Do karaoke.
MOVE TO TAHITI!
Read the Bible MORE than you usually do.
Most of all PRAY that God will give you grace to endure Obama's presidency.
God allowed him in there so remember that God can take our mistakes and turn them into blessings.
Bring that blessing Lord!
Comrade Obama is only another so called "conqueror" passing by.
Take heart dear one and smile when your heart is breaking.
I will pray for you and please pray for me.
I don't approve of Obama either.
