Dr Heartache.....I've Had it!

Dear Dr Heartache.....I Need Help....

Here is my dreadful unsolvable dilemma, Dr Heartache.

Please help me or I might not survive........

I fell deeply, madly, passionately in love with my doctor.

I had never met him until I had to find a new doctor since my regular

doctor suddenly died while examining his last patient.

Anyway I had to make an appointment

for a routine examination for my job.

I searched through the yellow pages until

I found a nice sounding name...Dr Horatio Almalikert..so romantic sounding....

I called and they scheduled me for the following week.

I wore these cute clothes I found online at Nordstrom's...you should see my shoes..to die for

but anyway

When I saw him I just knew! He is of medium height with wonderful dark

wavy hair parted in the middle

with a thick full mustache and broad shoulders with sparkling eyes.

This is where the problem gets deep and seemingly unsolvable...

He asked me to assist him in brain surgery.

It seems that someone told him that I had performed brain surgery before..

so he immediately assumed I was a doctor also.

Oh! Dr Heartache, the brain surgery I performed was on a neck clam,

which I thought it was his little brain when I was performing serious surgery

all those years ago...it looked like a brain, but now that I recall it was so tiny..

for biology class ten years ago.

He said if I didn't assist him.... our relationship is over!

What shall I do? If I assist him and the patient dies,

which I'm sure he/she will.........

I will never be able to forgive myself...

but worse I will never marry Horatio.

I'm torn between being true to myself...

and wonderful romance and marriage to Horatio..

Please advise me immediately since the brain surgery on the

98 year old patient is scheduled for tomorrow morning at 8AM.

Shaking and Worried in Nigeria

Dear Shaking and Worried in Nigeria,

If you performed brain surgery on a neck clam..

I simply cannot see any reason why you should NOT

assist Horatio.

Good luck and hope this helped..

Write and let me know how the patient fared.

Obama all about Obama..

Dear Dr Heartache.....what do you think..

Someone said that an American voting for Barack Obama

would be like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders.

Do you think this is true, and if so, why?

Just wondering in West Virginia

Dear Just wondering in West Virginia,

Well, my dear, if you don't know

the obvious answer to that,

what can I say?

Ventriloquist Page?

Dear Dr Heartache.....

I 'm shocked and horrified. I can't describe in words how absolutely insulted I am.

I received an anonymous email two days ago. The sender said they read my Dr Heartache blog faithfully, then accused me of using you dear Dr Heartache as a dummy.

Yes, a dummy. You my dear Dr Heartache are nothing more than a dummy I use to vent my feelings on was the emailer's concern

The sender said that this page I blog on is simply a ventriloquist page where I use you dear Dr Heartache as a dummy..

Yes, they even went so far as to say they knew it was me all along....asking you questions then answering myself while pretending it is you...er...me......or is it you......yep.... it is a ventriloquist act.

I'm shocked! I thought no one knew it was me as me and me as you...............and you are me and me is you.......

Can you imagine me with a dummy (you) I call Dr Heartache and me the ventriloquist?

They said I vent all my true feelings through you......what rubbish!

It is absurd!

Please advise me.......should I answer the email? Should I delete it? I simply don't know what to do.

Angry and insulted in Marysville, Washington

Dear Angry and insulted in Marysville, Washington,

Answer the email as soon as you can click yourself there.

Inform your accuser that I am not a dummy.

Also tell this rude cyberspace clicker that I am quite capable of defending myself

against all enemies foreign and domestic...

..wait a minute I think I slipped into a constitutional quote or something there....okay

let me try again....

At any rate, try to forgive and forget as I intend to do as soon as I sign off...

Hope this helped....