Dear Dr Heartache.........I'm so hurt...........

Dear Dr Heartache.....I Need Help....

Fahar and I were married in California one year ago. He was so kind and sweet when we met. He treated me just like a queen.

He showered me with gifts, showed me off to his friends and took me to far away Iran to meet his family.

He swept me off my feet.

Then everything changed when he said he wanted to move to Montana and be a cowboy.

Dr Heartache, I just don't think Fahar will make a good cowboy.

Anyway we moved and now we live on a big ranch in Montana where the skies are big.

Here is my problem, Fahar wants to name our first child Varmint.

I've tried explaining to him that varmint is not a name, but he insists this is the name he wants.

Dr Heartache, I am beside myself with concern. What shall I do?

Concerned soon to be mother in Montana

Dear Concerned soon to be mother in Montana,

Here is what you do, dash to Barnes and Noble and

buy a dictionary and show him what is says

under varmint.

Better have it translated to Iranian just in case.

Sounds like your husband is a varmint!

If he still doesn't listen, give your son a

middle name such as Mark or Matthew

and call him that name.

Good bye and good luck. I hope this helps.

Dear Dr Heartache......................I'm so confused....

Dear Dr Heartache,

...........I have a serious problem I can't solve.

I visited my old friend Chiquita who lives in old Mexico. While there we went sight seeing. Her neighbors to the right came with us; Pedro and Francisco.

It seems that they are planning to move to America to seek employment and romance.

Have you ever heard of this combination concerning a hunt?

Anyway, the one man, whose name is Francisco said that if he could find work in America it would better his life and make him very very happy.

It so happened that his brother Pedro will be going with him.

I'm all for people working and finding romance.

The only problem is Francisco wants me to be his girlfriend while he seeks employment in America.

I admit that he is very handsome, but the chemistry just isn't there. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but the truth of the matter is I am madly, passionately in love with Pedro his friend.

Dr Heartache, should I forget it? What shall I do?

Confused and so in love with Pedro in Los Angeles

Dear Confused and so in love with Pedro in Los Angeles,

First you should tell Chiquita, who knows if she knows these guys better than you think. Has Pedro been married before? How old is he? Do you know anything about his past? Does he have kids? Does he have an education? Is he nice? Is he kind? Does he have a vicious temper? Do you? I could go on and on.

The main thing is never get involved with anyone you don't know.

Get to know him better, such a year or two to see what he is made of.

A young girl I know became involved and soon learned her "prince" was a drunkard and liar.

Does he smoke? Use profanity?

My dear, you must place him underneath a

microscope of sorts and observe his life.

Don't take anything for granted.

I hope this helps.

Dear Dr Heartache

Dear Dr Heartache,

My friend Maria said you are a wise and experienced adviser.

I need help fast.

My friend Max is an atheist. A mean atheist.

He says there is no God.

He says this at least ten times a day.

Of course I know he is wrong,

but if I try to defend my position as a theist, he gets very angry.

And uses profanity.

I fear that unless this is resolved our friendship is doomed.

I mainly don't like when he calls me dumb for thinking there is a God when science says otherwise.

I've tried to make him understand that faith is not being blind, stupid and gullible.

One day he got really mad at me and called me a brain washed Bible-thumping fundie with no mind of my own.

Should I break off our friendship?

Atheist's friend in Mississippi

Dear Atheist's friend in Mississippi,

Sounds like your friend Max has serious issues concerning reality.

First consider this............your friend basically thinks that something can come from nothing. This alone should make you see what you're dealing with.

God calls him a fool, so what does this tell you?

A fool is a very stupid person.

Now, the best thing to do it if Max brings up the subject of religion in any way, change the subject and say something like this.............

"Max, if you don't mind, I would rather not discuss this right now."

If this doesn't work, tell him to catch the next bus.

Dear Dr Heartache..............

Dear Dear Dr Heartache,

I have a serious problem........I think.....

I am renting a condo from a rich land owner.

He let me move in without a deposit, so I thought this was big of him.

I had barely finished getting settled in when I had a dreadful thought.

Why would he let me move in without a deposit unless he perhaps was up to something to make me feel obligated to him.

The other night I was sitting in my living room watching CNN when I heard footsteps approaching my door.

I pressed the mute button on my remote and listened.

The footsteps walked on by after pausing at my door.

I dared not look out, so I waited for the next morning. I do have grizzly bear pepper spray.

I finished watching AC 360, then had a glass of orange juice and went to bed early.

The next morning I left to go to work.

I was puzzled to find a fancy colored envelope stuck to my door.

I opened it and inside was a love letter.

It read......."Dear Anna Lee, I hope this letter makes you see how madly I love you. I hope you will love me too. I remain your admirer and friend. Let's get acquainted soon. I can hardly wait to hear from you."

He had signed his name then crossed it out so I could not make it out.

Do I have a stalker? Could this wacko be my landlord?

He is here everyday for whatever reason always smiling at me and asking if I need anything, anything, anything at all and he will dash to get it for me regardless of cost.

Should I be concerned?

A little concerned in Wisconsin

Look under rentals and find another place to live.

If this isn't possible financially, keep your doors and windows locked.

Take out a loan from your bank and purchase an extra can of grizzly bear pepper spray.

Also buy a stun gun, along with a 38 pistol, and a 44, and keep plently of ammunition near your bed.

Also buy a rifle, a cannon, a tank, a fighter jet

and try to keep on hand at least two hand grenades

just in case.

That is my advice to you.

Of course it's your wacko landlord! Who else?

No landlord in his usual, typical landlord

greedy for money mind would ever let anyone

move into a place without paying a deposit.

Keep the letter of lust for proof when you file a lawsuit of sexual harrassment against him in a court of law.

Hope this helped.

Your friend

Dr Heartache

Dear Dr Heartache...

Dear Dr Heartache,
I am desperately and madly and passionately in love with a married man.
He says he loves me too. He sneaks out to meet me once a week and tell his wife he is going to a meeting crucial to his company's survival.
He said that he will marry me when she dies.
Dr Heartache, she is only thirty years old. I am twenty-five.
I would have to wait a long time for her to die, at least forty years I'm thinking, not unless she dies early like by sickness or an accident.
Should I wait for her to die? Should I?
I'm so confused about what to do.
I love him madly and cannot imagine life without him.
Please give me some of your wise desired needed wisdom so I can deal with this situation that is slowly killing me.

In love and impatient,
for his wife to die in Pennsylvania

Dear In love an impatient for his wife to die in Pennsylvania,

Is she sick now? Does she know and acts like she doesn't know?
Yes, it is very possible she knows all about you and sees you not as a threat, but as another notch in his pistol of lust.
Kick this brute into the street immediately!
You need counselling only Freud is qualified to give and since he is dead,
I suggest you without delay make an appointment with one of his admirers.
Look under Admirers of Freud in your yellow pages.
Do you really think this scoundrel is capable of loving anyone?
He sounds like the lowest of the low sneaking around using his company as a front,
so he can betray his poor dear wife.
You must have a very low opinion of yourself to be involved with such a piece of work.
Please do as I say and break off this adulterous relationship immediately before someone gets really hurt.
Hope this helped.

My Heart Is Broken...

Dear Dr Heartache...

Here is my problem. I met this handsome guy at a party. We hit it off immediately and arranged to get together the following night. He said I was just his type.

He said he would call but he didn't. I waited and waited but he never rang my phone.

Then I heard he had called my best friend.

It seems they are a hot item.

Why did he act like he liked me and all the time he was eying my best friend?

Now that I look back, it did seem they were friendly with each other at the party. Did he use me? Did she betray me? Am I wrong for being angry?

I really like him, but they are together right now at her house.

I feel like a fool knowing he used me for his own gain, just to meet my best friend.

What should I do? BTW, I hate his guts!

Angry and hurt

Dear Angry and Hurt,

Get over it already.

All is fair in love and war.

No one has any control over who attracts them and who doesn't.

If you want to be mad, be mad at the laws of chemistry.

Also, if you feel he used you to get to her, why would you want to be with such a low operator?

Sounds like God did you a favor.

Move on and don't ever let anyone define who you are,

or decide where you go.

Stand up, be strong and fight for your own life, forget this man who is out for himself.

It always amazes me why these people want someone who doesn't want them. Love is fair so if you feel something for him, it isn't love if it is tearing you to pieces.

Love heals, not destroys.

Sure pain may come, but when someone uses you, lies to you, you have enough evidence to walk away.

Why in the world would you want to be with someone who is so low?

Above all else to thine own self be true someone wisely said.