Dear Dr Heartache,

I am Mr Ali Musa from Burkino Fasi .

I have a huge heartache! I heard you care about everyone, that your advice can only be compared to Freud and his illustrious student Reik. Please help me!!!! I need help!!!! Now!!!!! HELP ME!!!! Please!!!


I want to seek your assistance.
Anyway.... after my discovery during auditing in my bank as I am the manager of Bill and Exchange at the Foreign Remittance Department of BANK OF AFRICA,(B.O.A.)

In my department I discovered an abandoned sum of USD (that ain't hay!) $15,555,00 million US dollars in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family in plane Crash. Foul play has been suspected! But anyway....

Since his death, we have been expecting his next of Kin to come over and claim his money because we can't release it unless somebody applies for it as his next of Kin. No one comes!!! Anyway this is where you come in Dr Heartache!

So please I want you to stand for me as his next of kin so that the bank will transfer the fund into your account then I will come over to meet you in your country for my own share.

Of course please do not view this as been illegal but an opportunity as await your urgent response to enable me give you more details. please reply with those information's below so that I can know you very well before I go ahead with you.

If you are not interested please delete it. Uh...as in now!


Please send to me:

Your real name
Your age.
(If you're a woman this request is optional)
Your private telephone number.
(Cell and land-line and car)
Your country.
Your planet.
Your god
Your profession.
Your address
Your latest xrays
Results of any MRI you might have had
Bank account number and pin
Address of bank
Recent photo (in 3D)


Remain blessed,
Mr Ali Musa

Dear Mr Ali Musa,
My advice to you is get a life.
Immediately!

IMMEDIATELY SEND DETAILS REQUESTED!!

Dear Dr Heartache.....I Need Help.... what shall I do with this crazy email?


Dearest One, You will be surprised to receive this mail from a total unknown, shrouded in dark mysterious enigmas locked in a puzzle stranger like me,

Anyway...... i got your contact through internet find anyone site, and decided to approach you for assistance so, permit me to inform you about this proposal.

I am the homely uneducated single lonely confused daughter of the late Diamond dealer Christen in Abidjan Cote D 'Ivoire in west Africa.

Anyway... he was also one of the paramount chiefs in my town before He was brutally murdered in cold blood early last year alongside my mother by the Rebels of R.U.F when they invaded the town looking for a McDonald's.

Our late father Christen died and left us and our mother???? Gloria and my younger brother Frank Christen my name is Ain Christen.

I am 21-years old and my younger brother Frank is 18-years old.
My late father Christen owns many companies before he died which he left for my mother Mrs Gloria Christen.

Within a year of my fathers death, my Mother Mrs. Gloria Christen was killed by Rebels of R.U.F, after my mother was killed my fathers lawyer called.

I and my younger brother and hand over my late fathers documents to us. after my fathers lawyer have handed over the documents to me, my uncle started demanding for the documents of my late fathers wealth.

I now called my fathers lawyer, he came and told my uncle that my father made a will that all his properties belongs to his children.

After my fathers lawyer have made that statement my uncle started fighting against us to an extend he went and arranged for hired killers to kill I and my younger brother. Three people died that day who happened to be standing there!

The first time they came to our home when I wasn't around, my younger brother Frank was brutally shot and two of our security men were brutally killed also before the police men came.
After they had escaped, that made us to park out of the compound we thought it will be over that way but it continue happening. So anyway.... that makes us to stop going to school and we moved out from our country to Burkina Faso.

We moved all our belongings by donkey. They also later murdered the donkey!


Because we are afraid let something not happen to us in school premises.

That is the reason why we contacted you as an honest person so that you can help us in transferring my late fathers money into your bank account. We just need your account number and also your pin. We will make the transfer smoothly and quietly. Trust me....I am an honest person.

The said fund is $20.5 Million Dollars been deposited into one of the banks in Burkina Faso west Africa.

I will offer 20% of the total amount to you for your help in transferring of this fund successfully to your account, and after transferring the money we can come over to your country and continue our education i will give you more details if you wish to assist us.
Send all information requested in next email!
I greedily await your reply!
Undecided in Missouri!


Dear Undecided in Missouri, Is there something in the water down there that prevents your brain from functioning? Delete the email and see a therapist immediately!
Sigh.....